I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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