My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
