Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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