I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize