And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
