It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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