I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize