So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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