well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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