NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize