piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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