repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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