i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
