I hate your face
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
