your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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