their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
