her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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