he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
This is my gift to your gina
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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