he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
