My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize