If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize