she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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