Do you still have your period?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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