what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
