He had one of those small greek statue penises
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
