Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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