Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
