I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
