C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
