Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
