New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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