So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
