Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
