I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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