So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
