Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize