6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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