mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
organizing the empties. That sober.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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