Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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