The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
