I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
