if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize