just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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