I cockslap morals
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
