She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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