i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
