You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I need moral support for this bender
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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