Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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