did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
and she was petting her beer can
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
