drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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