when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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