i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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