Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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