Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
