Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
