i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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