i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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