i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
