it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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