i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
