Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
