Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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