Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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