belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
