I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Shame is for Republicans.
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