Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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