So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
