so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
