You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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