did you get engaged???
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize