you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
