i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
