That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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