Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My vagina is officially offended.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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