Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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