you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
