We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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