We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Life is so much better after having sex.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
