i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
