Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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