I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize